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Blogs from November, 2023

What to Expect When Divorcing a Narcissist

Like any major life change, getting a divorce can be stressful for any person. While some couples have the good fortune of ending their marriage on amicable terms, this isn't the case for everyone. In the event that you're preparing to leave a narcissistic partner, the stakes can feel significantly higher.

From gaslighting to economic abuse, narcissists inflict significant damage on their relationships to the detriment of their partner’s safety and well-being. Even when divorce is clearly the right decision, it can be terrifying to divorce a narcissistic spouse. Many victims fear retribution or vengeance if they choose to end the marriage, leaving them unsure of how to cut ties safely.

Because narcissists act as though the world revolves around them, many experience a rude awakening in family court, where order and justice prevail. While it can be intimidating to file for divorce against a narcissistic spouse, there are steps you can take to minimize time, money, and emotional hardships during the divorce proceedings.

Keep reading to learn how spouses can protect their rights when divorcing a narcissist.

What Is a Narcissist?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), approximately 6.2% of adults in the U.S. have NPD.

While every individual is unique, narcissists often exhibit common behaviors and traits that can serve as warning signs of their condition. Common symptoms of narcissism include:

  • Grandiosity: They have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and may constantly seek validation and praise.
  • Lack of empathy: Narcissists struggle to understand or care about others' feelings and needs.
  • Manipulation: They are skilled at manipulating others to get what they want, often using guilt, shame, or fear.
  • Sense of entitlement: Narcissists believe they are entitled to special treatment and privileges.
  • Constant need for admiration: They crave attention and admiration from others and may become upset if not given constant praise.

Common Challenges of Narcissistic Divorces

Narcissistic traits can create significant problems within a relationship, leading to unique challenges during divorce. Some unique issues include:

  • High-conflict divorces: Narcissists often thrive on conflict and may go to great lengths to prolong legal proceedings and exert control.
  • Emotional manipulation: They may use emotional manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting or blame-shifting, to undermine your confidence and self-worth.
  • Recognizing financial exploitation: Narcissistic partners often try to hide assets, manipulate financial information, or use money as a tool of control during the divorce process.
  • Contentious child custody battles: Narcissists are known to weaponize child custody disputes, such as using the children as pawns to maintain control or seek revenge.
  • False allegations: In an effort to discredit honest partners, narcissistic spouses often make false allegations of abuse or neglect to harm the other.

5 Tips for Divorcing a Narcissist

Fortunately, there are ways to reduce the stress and pressure of divorcing a narcissist. Here are some essential tips to keep in mind when divorcing a narcissistic spouse:

  1. Hire an experienced attorney: Working with an experienced divorce attorney who understands the intricacies of divorcing a narcissistic partner is crucial. Your lawyer can guide you through the legal proceedings and provide invaluable counsel to ensure your rights are protected.
  2. Document everything: Keep a meticulous record of all interactions, including emails, text messages, and conversations. Document instances of abuse, manipulation, or financial exploitation, as this evidence can be powerful in court.
  3. Focus on self-care and support: Prioritize your well-being throughout the divorce process. Engage in self-care activities, such as therapy, exercise, and maintaining a strong support network of friends and family who can offer emotional support.
  4. Set boundaries and limit communication: Minimize direct communication with your narcissistic partner to reduce opportunities for manipulation. Communicate primarily through your attorney, who can serve as a buffer.
  5. Prepare for custody battles: If you have children, be prepared for potential custody battles. Document instances where the narcissistic partner puts the children at risk and work with your attorney to protect their best interests.

Remember, it's imperative to consult with a trusted legal representative who can offer you clarity and sound counsel throughout your divorce, allowing you to rest easy knowing that your health and safety are prioritized.

Sound Counsel for Couples in Somerset County

Our divorce attorneys at DeTommaso Law Group, LLC have extensive knowledge of family law to prioritize your best interests in a divorce, child custody case, or related disputes in family court. From navigating the legal complexities of asset and property division to determining alimony and child support, our seasoned advocates have decades of experience and a diverse skillset to deliver the high-quality representation you deserve. We can work to achieve a favorable outcome on your behalf, empowering you to turn the page and move forward with your life.

Divorce can be costly and time-consuming. Our skilled divorce lawyers can help you navigate family court effectively. Contact us online to discuss your case.