Let’s be honest—talking about prenups isn't exactly romantic. You’re in the middle of planning one of the happiest days of your life, and suddenly you're bringing up what happens if things fall apart? Awkward. But here’s the thing: protecting your future doesn't have to feel like betting against your relationship. It’s actually about clarity, security, and trust.
Still, that uncomfortable feeling often leads couples down the DIY path. A quick search, a downloadable prenup template, a few name changes, and boom—it’s done. Right?
Not quite.
Those templates floating around online may look official, but they’re often ticking time bombs—full of vague language, missing critical protections, and completely blind to your state’s laws. They’re cheap, sure. But the cost later? That’s a whole other story.
Before you hit print on that Google doc, let’s unpack five legal nightmares that can happen when you DIY your prenup—and how to avoid them altogether.
Why Bringing Up a Prenup Feels So Hard (And Why It Doesn’t Have to Be)
The idea of a prenup can stir up a lot of anxiety: fear that you’ll hurt your partner’s feelings, fear that it’ll seem like you don’t trust each other, or just plain fear of sounding like you’re already planning for the worst.
But here’s a fresh perspective: a prenup is a conversation, not a contract written in stone. It’s a chance to get on the same page financially before you tie your lives together. You’re not predicting failure—you’re building a foundation.
The key is how you talk about it. If it’s framed as “I want us both to feel protected and confident about our future,” it becomes a partnership move, not a legal defense. And just like you wouldn’t DIY your wedding dress or suit (hopefully), this is one place where legal help really matters.
Which brings us to nightmare number one...
Legal Nightmare #1: Missing Key State-Specific Clauses
Family law isn't one-size-fits-all. What’s valid in California might be thrown out in New Jersey. Each state has its own rules about what can and can’t go into a prenup, how it needs to be signed, whether it needs to be notarized, and even what timeline is considered “reasonable” before the wedding.
When you use a generic template from the internet, you’re usually getting a broad-strokes version that might not even mention your state’s legal requirements. It could be missing disclosures you’re required to include or format rules that courts in your area care deeply about.
That means even if the document looks impressive on paper, it could be completely useless when it matters most.
And the danger doesn’t stop at what’s missing…
Legal Nightmare #2: Unenforceable Terms That Fall Apart in Court
Even if your prenup is beautifully formatted and full of details, that doesn’t mean a judge will honor it.
Prenups can only govern certain things. If your agreement tries to decide things like future child custody, child support amounts, or anything that goes against public policy—it’ll likely get tossed out. Sometimes, courts will invalidate part of a prenup. Other times, they’ll throw the whole thing away.
Common missteps include:
- Trying to waive spousal support in a way that’s considered unfair
- Including “lifestyle” clauses that a judge can’t or won’t enforce
- Using vague or unclear language about asset division
When you go the DIY route, you risk adding unenforceable (or illegal) terms that undermine the validity of the entire agreement. Worse yet, one unenforceable clause might raise questions about the fairness of the prenup overall—which brings us to our next problem...
Legal Nightmare #3: One-Sided Agreements That Trigger Legal Red Flags
A prenup doesn’t have to be perfectly 50/50—but it does have to be fair. If one party clearly benefits while the other gives up everything, you’re almost guaranteed a problem down the line.
Judges don’t just look at the document itself—they look at the process. Were both parties informed? Did each person have time to review the agreement? Was legal advice offered or declined in writing? If there’s any hint that one person didn’t fully understand what they were signing—or was pressured into it—the prenup can unravel.
DIY templates often miss those critical protections. They don’t account for imbalance, or they overlook the importance of each person having a lawyer. If it looks like one person railroaded the other into signing a lopsided agreement, the court might just start from scratch.
And even if your partner agrees with everything, if it looks bad on paper, it might not hold up. That’s especially true when it comes to how you describe what belongs to whom...
Legal Nightmare #4: Assets Left Unprotected (Or Worse, Misclassified)
A prenup isn’t just about dividing things—it’s about defining them. What’s considered separate property? What’s marital? What happens to the condo you owned before the wedding? What about the business your partner started five years ago?
DIY prenups often gloss over these distinctions, or they use broad terms without getting specific. That creates major gray areas later—especially if the value of certain assets changes over time, or if separate property gets mixed with shared funds.
Without a clear definition, you could find yourself:
- Fighting over pre-marital savings you thought were safe
- Losing interest in a business you built long before the wedding
- Watching a family inheritance get split during a divorce
Even worse? If you don’t fully disclose all assets and debts up front, the entire agreement could be thrown out. Full transparency is required—not just morally, but legally.
So far, all of these issues assume the agreement was given enough time and thought. But what happens when a prenup is rushed?
Legal Nightmare #5: Last-Minute Signings That Spark Legal Disputes
One of the biggest red flags courts look for is timing. If a prenup is signed days—or even hours—before the wedding, it could raise questions about coercion. Did both parties feel they had a real choice? Or were they afraid to walk away and cancel the wedding?
Rushed prenups scream pressure, and that can tank their enforceability.
DIY agreements are especially prone to this. People wait until the last minute, then panic and download a template. With no legal review, no negotiation, and no cooling-off period, the result is a prenup that’s not just flawed—it’s risky.
A well-drafted prenup should be reviewed and discussed weeks (preferably months) before the wedding. That gives everyone time to think, ask questions, get legal advice, and sign with full confidence.
Which is where a family law attorney comes in—not just to make the document legally sound, but to make the entire process smoother, safer, and far less awkward.
How a Family Law Attorney Makes the Process Smoother, Safer, and Less Awkward
Here’s the part most people don’t realize: having a lawyer doesn’t make things more complicated. It makes them easier—especially when you find someone who understands both the legal and emotional side of this process.
A good family law attorney from DeTommaso Law Group, LLC will:
- Translate legal jargon into real language so you actually understand what you’re agreeing to
- Make sure both parties are protected fairly, so the agreement isn’t lopsided or vulnerable to challenge
- Handle the technical stuff like timelines, disclosures, and signing procedures, so nothing gets missed
- Offer guidance on tricky topics like property classification, business ownership, and spousal support
- Create a space where both of you feel heard—not pressured
Instead of guessing your way through a template, you get clarity. Instead of stressing over how to “bring it up,” you get structure. And instead of waking up in five years, hoping the prenup holds, you get real peace of mind.
All in all, a prenup isn’t just a document—it’s a conversation, a strategy, and a safety net. And when it’s done right, it strengthens your relationship, not weakens it.
Our team is here to help if you're thinking about a prenup. Reach out to us at (908) 274-3028 or fill out our online form to get started.